The Unwanted Visitor
by KNW
Summary: Laguna feels he's an unwanted visitor to the lives of those around him. Deathfic.


Disclaimer: Laguna and the rest of Final Fantasy VIII belong to squaresoft.

Author's note: This is Skitz's request, she asked me for a Laguna angst fic so this is what she got, blame her not me  ^_^

The Unwanted Visitor

 Unwanted. He was an unwanted visitor to all the lives around him. They hadn't told him so, but he could tell, he wasn't the idiot they took him for. But however they treated him he did love them, and it was for them he did this…

 His mouth twisted in a grotesque parody of his once joyous grin, the blood from his abused gums colouring perfect teeth to a rosy pink speckled with scarlet droplets. In his hand the remnants of his attacker were clenched tightly, golden brown alcohol swirling in the bottom of the semi-shattered crystal goblet, dangerous shards imitating ice cubes as they floated in the beverage.

 In his drunken depression, in his madness, he had bitten the glass.

 Thoughts whirled, like his drink, around his brain; he desperately reached for them, trying to recall why he was there, on the bathroom floor, drunk.

 His son…

 He had spoken with his son, the son he never knew existed until mere weeks ago. He'd told his son who he was, that they were related…

 "You aren't my father, you're pathetic! You're nothing!" His son's words swam through his head, he remembered the passionate hatred in the boy's voice and winced, his head banging against the tile wall. He was an unwanted visitor to his son's life.

 Turning his head, his eyes fixed on the crystal he grasped; his stomach was knotting, sickness assaulting him in waves… maybe… he hadn't cut in years, but…

 Blinking bloodshot eyes, he watched as his hand, seemingly of its own accord, tipped the wreckage over, spilling the liquid and it's lethal load across the tiles.

 He groaned softly as the deadly edge of the glass penetrated the skin of his forearm, the pain offering a delicious focal point to escape the alcoholic haze.

 He watched in childish awe as scarlet life bubbled from the punctured flesh, the familiar feeling of release obliterating the sickness. Slowly the salty fluid flowed over the alabaster of his skin, deep crimson on snow white; such a beautiful contrast.

 Dropping the goblet, he held his palm out to catch the shining beads as they slithered, warm, over his pale flesh.

 Drip, drip, drip. A wondrous puddle in his hand, so dark, almost brown…

 His best friend…

 His best friend was brown! But… but they'd had a fight? He flinched, his head smashing once more on the tiles, adding to his delirium, harsh words echoing through his shattering mind, "You're so pathetic, it wasn't hard to tell him, why do you act hurt when it was him abandoned?"

 Drawing a ragged breath, he dipped his finger in the blood he'd collected, drawing it across the wall. He was an unwanted visitor in his best friend's life.

 Tears came unbidden, seeping from the corners of his tired eyes; tracing a route over his tragic countenance.

 He remembered his wife, "You're so helpless, crying all the time I look after you; I can't believe you were a soldier."

 Within seconds the misery was replaced with self-loathing, what right had he to cry? They were right; he was nothing… pathetic… helpless… unwanted!

 Fiery anger over took him and he lashed repeatedly at his wrist, hatred, stronger than any he'd ever known, burning in his veins, the very veins he severed.

 He watched again, still silent, as he'd never been before; brilliant red erupted from the cut, pumped out by the same heart he despised, the heart he was betraying. It stung slightly, but as the only purity in him washed over the floor, he ignored it, this was his final plea for forgiveness; he would remove the unwanted visitor.

 Time stood still as the life giving liquid fled his body and then slowly, so slowly, the world began to fade and all the rejection with it.

 He smiled a final smile before blackness over took him. He walked willingly into death's embrace.

 There he lay, horrendously beautiful despite the abject misery that clung to him, until two remorseful figures came in search of him. Two figures who were too late to tell how they truly wanted him, for the unwanted visitor to their lives was gone.

~ The End ~

Author's note (again): Please all review because this is my heaviest angst yet and I really need to know how well I do write in this genre, thank you all for reading, and is this pleasing Skitz?


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